To believe in something is an amazing thing. You have faith. You have hope. You have excitement. To believe in YOURSELF is an even more amazing thing. Self-belief is such an enabler. Knowing that others believe in you. Knowing that others have faith in you. Knowing that others have hope for you. Knowing that others are excited about what you’re doing or going to be doing. Wow, what a GREAT feeling.
What about when that belief in ourselves is missing?
Sometimes through no fault of our own, we find ourselves in a position where we no longer believe in ourselves the way we have previously. Barriers appear in front of us – actual or imaginary. Loss of confidence hits us – through failure or perception of it. Fear of the future cripples us – whether it is a realistic fear or not. This is a horrible dark hole to be in.
When someone is in this space, they may have a myriad of thoughts and many of them aren’t helpful, but that’s what comes out. Often that person will feel isolated, not up to it, and unable to see the many attributes that are on their side for the thought or prospect of what is in their way, blocking them, or the perceived injustice of how life can be.
If we don’t think we are any good, or are a lost cause, then why should anyone else? That is the dark thought that lingers too often when in that space. That more than likely ISN’T the case, but that’s the thought that is most prominent at the time.
How was I ever going to feel GREAT again?
What do others think about us at that time
Whilst the outside world may seem so distant and uncaring, our perception is skewered to what people will actually be feeling about us. When I found myself lacking self-belief and self-confidence, I struggled to see how I was going to build back to where I saw was ‘normal’. I knew I had a lot going for me and that many others would swap their position with me at the drop of a hat. I was aware of this but I hadn’t always remembered to be grateful for this.
What was I going to do about it?
I knew people were there for me, but was also aware that if I wanted to change that it was me who was going to have to change things. That uphill prospect overshadowed the reassurance that people were rooting for me. For me to get over this uphill prospect, I was going to recognise that others can play a massive part in helping me get to where I want to be.
One of the first things I needed to do was to get ‘out of my slump’. I was overeating massively. I was inactive and whilst I was carrying injuries and prone to ill-health episodes, I hadn’t linked inactivity with the body’s ability to repair the mind. I was probably going through a mild depression which clouded judgement and my desire to make changes in my life. I knew the theory. I knew what I needed to do. I also knew it was going to be hard! What I needed to do was to start making little steps forwards. If I could do small steps towards the end goal, then those mini-boosts would energise me in my journey forward.
As I started to make these steps and to start doing more – exercise wise, socially mixing more, getting involved with interesting projects and hobbies, – I was seeing that my sense of worth was increasing. The value I was feeling was increasing. The belief in my own ability was increasing. This enabled me to start thinking not so much about what I couldn’t do, or what I wasn’t able to achieve compared to the past, or what barriers or blockers were in place, but helped me set out ideas as to what I would like to do and to provide potential timescales for this. I was building aims and objectives into my life.
What are the benefits of applying these changes?
The effects of these changes were that I had started to
- acknowledge the growth and improvements
- not just hear support but being open to listen to it
- have introspective reviews to recognise patterns in behaviour, approaches and attitudes, and keeping taking mini steps forward
Suddenly the penny dropped that I had come a very long way. Reminders from people close to me that I had come through a tough time and that they could see a difference – in weight, the smile had returned, the metaphorical weight had been lifted off my shoulders, running performance was returning, that I started to look like me again.
I had to trust others that they believed in me. I had to trust that they had faith in me. I had to trust that they had hope for me. I had to trust that they were excited for me about what I was doing or going to be doing.
How was I going to trust them? I trusted them because they were excited to be a part of my journey. They hadn’t gone anywhere. They were with me all the way. My ears, eyes, and other senses had not been able to see it as clearly during the dark times, but those who believed in me were there all the time. When you feel lacking in self-belief your mind clouds the reality. I know now that those people worried about me, cared about me, listened, supported and made me resolute in the upward direction I was now heading.
Whilst there is still work to be done to get back to my end goal, I am starting to feel G.R.E.A.T. again. – and they are my five steps towards regaining self-belief – Gratitude, Recognition, Energise, Aims, Trusting.
I am eternally grateful for those close to me who not just supported me, but fought for me, kept me focused, cared for me, gave me hope, and kept my head up. They saw I could do things before I saw I could. Their faith restored my faith.
If you’re finding things hard with regard to self-belief, or finding things hard, I hope you find this blog post useful. Reach out to someone. Talk to them. They care. These five steps will help you feeling GREAT again. You’ve got this. If you’re reading this and recognise that someone you know is struggling, keep with them through their journey. You’re being a real life angel to them, as those were whilst helping me.
Take care, folks – of yourself and those you care for.